Why wives cheat on husbands: causes and motives
Male infidelity is no longer considered an unusual phenomenon. However, the ladies can go “left”. There are many situations why wives cheat on their husbands, the reasons are varied. In most cases, feelings between husband and wife weaken, eventually taking on a “household” character, but there are other factors, including the disease.
Why do wives cheat on their husbands, what is the reason
The causes of female adultery in marriage are not always rooted in family relationships. Begin to consider infidelity is worth with the qualities embedded in people by nature. For example, for men, adultery is not a misdemeanor, but a natural process. They laid the conquest. Therefore, they can love one, but as males – they feel the need for additional temporary relationships.
Women do not have this. They are the keeper of the hearth, created for love. They are laid by nature – to find and choose the best among men. Therefore, if on the way of a lady there is another, superior spouse in any qualities, a woman may not be easy to change, sometimes it comes to divorce.
And to determine what she needs, maybe only she herself. Although it seems from the outside that there are no reasons for treason – a loving husband, security, good family relations, etc. It turns out that quantity is important for men, and quality is important for the fair sex.
Other reasons why wives betray their husbands:
one. Early family life. If young people are still young, then one or both of them may simply not be ready to live together. To a girl, at first everything seems cloudless, but gradually her family life becomes monotonous, and she needs new impressions. She has not walked yet. As a result, the status of his wife quickly bored, and she begins to look for new impressions.
2 New love. In search of something new or just by chance, a girl can meet a person for whom she begins to experience a feeling of love. It can be so strong that it is not possible to resist the temptation. Sometimes life with her husband seems unbearable. However, at first, the girl does not seek to destroy the family, especially if she realizes that new feelings are temporary. From the divorce often stops and the presence of children. Then the woman can stop on temporary dates.
3 Lack of intimate life. It happens that everything in the family is good and the love between the spouses flourishes, as before, only for sex there is no time or desire. The reason, perhaps, is a busy schedule, lack of sleep, temperaments. If, for example, a man has enough sex only 2-3 times a week, and a woman needs daily, then she becomes irritable. In order not to destroy the family, the lady simply finds the missing on the side.
four. Permanent business trip husband. When a spouse is absent for a long time, it can negatively affect your personal life. Not every woman will want long periods of being alone. Any lady needs constant attention, compliments, otherwise she will feel lonely and, fleeing from this, will find a lover.
five. Disappointment is one of the most common reasons. Especially if the lack of attention from the spouse is complemented by a shortage of intimate life. A woman can endure friendly coexistence for a long time, but in the end all the same there comes a breakdown, which leads to betrayal. So, the lover gives her the missing attention and sex. However, if a woman wants to keep her family (for example, the husband is the ideal father or is well provided, etc.), then she will go “left” secretly and infrequently.
6 Revenge is also a common cause of the wife’s infidelity. The desire for revenge appears after, as the lady learns about the betrayal of her husband. A woman feels humiliated, her emotions require a way out. If this does not help scandals or smashing dishes, then the lady can begin to change. In addition, it helps her to feel again desirable and gradually resentment subsides. In this case, revenge acts as a kind of medicine.
7 “Forbidden fruit” as you know, always sweet. A woman may love her husband, but for treason pushes the passion to feel the unknown. Sometimes the lady perceives it as a game. And knowing that, maybe, at any moment to break the annoying connection.
eight. Family problems are not uncommon. They appear in almost all couples who have begun a life together. This may be banal “bytovuha”, lack of money, quarrels, jealousy. Sometimes the spouse regularly beats the woman, humiliates or drank. When the home environment becomes tense, the woman unconsciously seeks a more relaxed and joyful life, which leads to betrayal. Without knowing it, she may, at a subconscious level, begin the search for a new man.
9. Ideal. Women are more emotional than men. For ladies, emotional coloring of relationships is very important, reliance on a strong shoulder. As a girl, a woman begins to search for her ideal. Usually it becomes the first love, but over time, the environment of the ladies expands. She meets new people, grows up, priorities and life values change. As a result, the customary husband can start losing significantly to a new acquaintance.
ten. “Herd instinct” sounds rough, but for some women – attractive. To provoke her for treason can be colorful stories of “walking” friends, podnachivanie, propaganda of infidelity.
eleven. The reason for treason is sometimes self-affirmation. Any wrinkle that appears, a couple of extra years, changes in shape can seriously trouble a woman and become a negative “fad”. If the husband also begins to pay less attention, the lady, wanting to prove her attractiveness, is trying to establish a new relationship. And most often the choice of a woman falls on men who are younger than her. However, the lady is in no hurry to “make a new nest” with him. She needs only to feel beautiful and desirable.
Another factor of betrayal can be the confidence of the ladies that she deserves only the best. And this reason is the most inexplicable of all. A woman is not going to divorce, and the existing marriage is perceived only as a social status. Despite the “stamp in the passport” the lady feels free. After her adultery, the woman does not feel guilty and believes that this behavior is quite natural.
How does a wife who cheats on her husband
Catching infidelity spouse is quite difficult. Men are less observant and emotional, so they may not notice the many signs of adultery.
So how does a wife who cheated on her husband behave? Basically – the behavior and attitudes that change dramatically. The first signs of treason include:
♥ SMS or calls that the wife does not immediately respond;
Erased incoming and outgoing messages and numbers;
♥ if before the spouse could leave the phone in the house anywhere, now even takes it with him to the shower or toilet;
♥ monosyllabic answers in the phone – “yes”, “no”, “yep”, etc.
♥ The spouse began to linger after work (especially if she came earlier on time).
A changed woman usually follows one of several lines of conduct:
- Closure and silence. If the husband tries to find out the cause of dissatisfaction, the wife gets a very emotional and negative reaction. She does not speak more tender words, tries to avoid intimacy, her touches are cold, there is no tenderness and sensuality in them.
- “Angelic” behavior, when a spouse suddenly becomes too affectionate, tries to describe in detail why she did not return to work on time, her look is ingratiating and innocent. The woman ceases to contradict and will not even begin to show discontent if the husband is guilty.
- Frequent mood swings. Women are very emotional creatures. This is especially pronounced after treason. And the mood changes suddenly, “from scratch.”
The reason for suspecting treason is the sudden departure of his wife in an unknown direction, excessive secrecy. Usually women are ready to describe in detail even a visit to the hairdresser. Therefore, a man in response to the question “Where?” Should be alerted by answers like “just walk,” “go to the store,” etc. However, if the husband’s birthday is ahead, she can simply go for a gift. The unfaithful spouse is changing the look. He becomes brooding, wandering, mysterious or absent. You can see a dreamy facial expression. The woman decides to change the image – makes a new hairstyle, updates the wardrobe, goes on a diet, begins to visit the gym.
A woman’s indicator of infidelity can be clean shaven feet or a thorough pedicure. Especially if his wife was previously passionate about this was not observed due to lack of time.
A woman may suddenly change her area of interest. A lady suddenly begins to watch a previously hated football, be interested in ornithology, and so on. Other betrayals include treason (if you have never seen such a wife before):
♥ constant criticism of her husband and comparing him with other men (she sets them up as an example);
♥ unwillingness to be near the spouse, to relax together or to visit;
♥ loss of interest in work affairs, the husband’s pursuits, his hobbies;
♥ a woman stops asking for something and even argues, becomes indifferent;
♥ shopping trips, salons or to girlfriends and relatives;
Rejects offers to meet her from work;
♥ does not respond to calls, justifying it by discharging the phone or by having “accidentally” forgotten the device at home;
♥ unexpectedly awakened concern for a friend, whom she saw extremely rarely;
♥ the emergence of regular trainings, courses, travel;
♥ avoids a direct look, looks away;
♥ tries by all means to avoid close contact, locks himself in a bath, quickly falls asleep, complains about health;
♥ during intimacy, unexpectedly offers sex games, new poses;
♥ the smell changes (there is a “fragrance” of another man on the body even after the spouse has cleaned up) or notes of someone else’s cologne appear;
♥ redness on the face (if the lover has stubble);
♥ it is not clear where the bruises and scratches come from;
♥ the appearance of new erotic underwear (and she does not want to seduce her husband).
As can be seen from the description, a whole set of signs – emotional, physiological, facial expressions, behavior – may indicate a betrayal of a wife. However, to make a conclusion only on delays from work or refusal from sex due to fatigue is not worth it. Infidelity can be confirmed only by a combination of different signs.
Fears were confirmed. Wife changes, what to do? Psychologist tips
To the question, “What should I do if my wife has changed?” The advice of a psychologist depends on the decision of the man – he seeks to save the family or will not be able to forgive the spouse for her infidelity. In the latter case, it remains only to get a divorce or try to live some time separately for the first time. When the first storm of feelings and insults subsides, look again at the problem. However, in most cases, the couple still break up.
Another option is to save the family, try to cope with betrayal. If you immediately arrange a scandal, the wife in an emotional impulse can immediately leave even without explaining her action. The first reaction of a man, when he learns about treason – to immediately figure everything out, put all the dots. However, just can not hurry.
Do not go all telling friends or get drunk. It is better to just find a place where you can be alone. Try to understand why the wife has changed, and assess their feelings for her – to admit to myself if love is still alive. To break up is the easiest option, and restoring relationships is much more difficult. Perhaps betrayal occurred precisely because of the deceived spouse. Conversations need to be conducted with the wife only on a sober and cold head. It is impossible to raise a hand on a spouse, no matter how much you want it, because once she was beloved and desired. Yes, and not a man’s act – to beat a woman.
In any case, it is desirable to find out the reason why the wife is cheating. A loving man will try to understand and forgive his spouse. It is necessary to analyze the situation if possible to correct what is possible. There is such an option that treason was just a minute weakness, a small revenge, an attempt to draw attention to themselves. It is important and who became the lover of his wife. If this is the head of the husband, then the proximity could arise under duress or to protect the spouse from the wrath of his boss. Sometimes a woman is able, thus, to help ensure the career growth of her husband. Then you should ask yourself the question – is it possible to forgive such self-sacrifice?
If the wife is determined categorically and wants to end the relationship completely – no need to keep her, she will still find a way to go to her lover. Another option is when the spouse is constantly in the “boutiques” and spits on children. In this case, it is better to get a divorce and take the offspring to yourself.
Coexistence after adultery is possible only if the husband is able to forgive the wife completely. Otherwise, the relationship will no longer “glue”.
Why wives cheat on husbands, scientists
A group of scientists conducted a series of studies why wives cheat on their husbands. It turned out that a greater percentage of infidelity falls on those who are unhappy in marriage. In such cases, betrayal is observed 2.6 times more often than in wealthy families.
The likelihood of betrayal against the background of a shortage of sex life increases by 2.9 times. Statistics who most often choose spouses for the status of a lover (in percent):
• 1 – husband’s friends; • 10 – colleagues; • 12 – random strangers; • 13 – former sweethearts; • 20 – longtime friends; • 44 – someone other than those listed.
British scientists even found that the percentage of female betrayals is greater than that of men. At the same time, ladies greatly value the status of an “exemplary wife” and do not advertise their relations “on the side”. As a result, in concealing traces of infidelity, they are even more sophisticated than men.
Yet more often the cause of betrayal becomes lack of attention. A man takes for granted that the spouse cooks, washes, cleans, carries a huge economic burden. However, she still works and monitors the children. A man does not take on such an additional burden, and sometimes even forgets to make a compliment. A woman gets tired of such a life and begins to look for a “new mate”.